How King of the Hill Should Have Ended
by noonecanknow26
Summary: Prepare for a ride. A horrible, half-assed ride. Basically, Hank's love for propane goes to far. Please rate it, but it will probably be low rating, and I don't blame you for doing so.
1. Neon Genesis Propanegelion

This is my rendition of how the greatest Anime of all time, King of the Hill, should have ended. It wasn't satisfying enough for me. So, here it is.

I regret nothing.

May 5th, 2008.

1:00 PM

Arlen, Texas.

Hank Hill was hard at work at his office, Strickland Propane. Every day, he sells Propane and Propane Accessories. He's done this for 20 years, and is very proud of his work. Hank loves propane more than anything. More than Bobby, that's for sure. Bobby just isn't right. After making a fantastic grill for his neighbor, Kahn, his love for propane is starting to rise. He loves it more than before.

Hank was working on checking the pressure of a propane tank that was soon to be sold. That's when his boss, Buck Strickland, came in.

"Hank, Old Top, the place is closing early today. We need to get an inspection, so you need to head home now."

"I'm sorry Mr. Strickland, but I need to finish checking the tanks. They need to be ready to be sold."

"Sorry Hank, but I might fail if you don't leave, so come on."

Hank sighed. "Alright, I'm leaving."

"See you tomorrow, Old Top."

Buck left, and Hank got his things. But before he left, he took one last look at the propane tank. He then whispered "I'll see you tomorrow, my love." And then left.

At home, Hank was distracted. He needed to work on propane. So he checked the tank in his grill. After doing that, he checked other tanks. After a while, Peggy, his wife, noticed.

"Hank, why do you keep checking the tanks?"

"I need to Peggy, they need to be perfect. Perfect in every way."

Peggy, somewhat weirded out by Hank's actions, backed away slowly.

After doing that, Hank went into the computer room, and closed the door. He then spent 5 hours just looking at propane online. He found great pleasure in them. After a while, he was forced to come out for dinner. He cooked steak, and savored the way the propane burned, and behaved. It was all he focused on.

Hank was now a propane addict.

After dinner, Hank knew he needed more. He needed to be with propane. So he got a tank, and, at night, went into a bush.

What he did with the propane could not be described.

Afterward, he got a mask, and another tank. He then put on the mask, and attached it to the tank. He needed propane inside him. Not in the way like a few moments ago, but really inside him.

He then began to pump the propane into his body. Hank then passed out, and was then taken to the hospital.

The next day...

Hank woke up in a hospital. He nearly died from inhaling the propane. Peggy was beside him.

"Hank, what were you thinking?!"

"I need it inside me Peggy."

"You're insane!"

"No..."

Hank paused. He then came to a realization as he bolted out of bed.

"Hank! Get back here!" Peggy shouted. But it was too late.

Nurses tried to sedate him, but Hank was too fast. He ran out of the hospital and then got home. He looked into a mirror.

"I am propane."


	2. Neon Genesis Propanegelion 2

If you get here, congratulations on actually giving a shit about this travesty.

Anyways, here we go. Prepare for a ride.

May 14th, 2008

2:00 PM

Arlen, Texas.

Hank Hill has discovered that he, mentally, is propane. He now identifies as Propane. Not as a human.

He spreads the word. He does everything with propane. He works on it endlessly, he sleeps with it, inhales it, does everything with propane. He is working at Strickland Propane one day when Buck comes in.

"Hank, old top, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to let you go."

"H-hwhat?! I've been working here for 20 years!"

"Yes, but we've been getting some complaints about your-"

"Is it because I'm propane?"

"Y-yes, well, it's-"

"I KNEW IT! THIS PLACE DOESN'T DESERVE PROPANE!"

Hank then ran out and got in his truck.

"I know what I must do. I shall liberate my propane brothers from their oppression!"

Hank then put a brick on the accelerator and drove the truck as fast as he could at one of the main tanks. The truck hit the main tank, causing a massive explosion that destroys Strickland Propane.

Hank, laying in front of the burning wreckage, stands up and chants "Be free my brothers!"

He then walks away. He knows he must now liberate all propane from oppression. As he walks away, Joe Jack stands up out of the wreckage, and yells "I'M ON FIRE, HONEY!" Before he keels over dead from burns.

Hank then decides on something.

To be one with propane, he must become propane.

He wants to spread the word of propane.

He devises a plan that will turn everyone in the world into propane.

He goes home, and begins his work.

He connects all the outlets of propane in Heimlech county into one pipe, where he light a match. This will cause all propane to be free, and turn Hank into a propane God, where he can begin his work. How, you ask? I don't know. I'm just telling this story and bullshitting it all the way through.

After two weeks, everything is ready.

He takes out a lighter, removes his clothes, and then yells, "I MUST BE ONE WITH PROPANE!"

He lights the fuse.

This causes the propane in all of Heimlich county to burst. The entire county is ingulfed in a massive fireball. Millions die. But one survives: Hank.

He has succeeded. He is now propane. His new form, which is massive and pale white, rises over the Earth. He spreads his arms. And chants "Propane is good, I'll tell you hwhat."

All forms of life on Earth are then absorbed into propane and placed in a collective tank. Hank's work is complete, but now, he must join them. He too, completes his transformation, and joins all life in the collective tank.

But then the tank is lit by the Sun's rays, causing the tank to explode, and ending all life as we know it. The last words uttered by life were by Hank, shouting "BWAAAAAAAAAH!"

Propane is all. Propane is God. Propane is love, Propane is life.

The end.

(Oh dear god, this is far worse than I thought it would be.)


End file.
